London

Good news.

The other day my mom was like, "... and Lauren will be in London then."

I think that means I'm going.

Score!

I hate that when thinking of the word confession an obnoxious Usher song plays.

Confessions:

1. Sometimes I imagine people reading my blog and finding me adorable.
2. I self-depricate way to often in public. Last night I realized how awkward that is.
3. I went online shopping for school supplies. I really miss going to class.
4. Sometimes I think I'm a misanthrope. Which is oddly contrasting to my other side that hopes to contribute to humanity, if not help save it.

I keep day dreaming about London. Strawberry lagers, European history, traveling around, improving my British accent... I just hope it all works out. (Let's hope some of my scholarships come through.)

Matt and I have discussed the possibility of separating while I'm abroad. The idea is nauseating. We have a state of the art support system for ourselves. It's hard to just let that go. Perspective will aid in our relationship, I know it in my brain. I just can't stomach it.

Perhaps more later on the latter... perhaps not? One thing is certain, can't wait for the Fall!!! I'm excited to be in the house with three awesome girls, our cat, and a peach tree.

Today I went swimming with Julie in my new swim suit bottoms. That was fun but now I'm a bit sun burned, as usual. It's the Eastern European Jew in me. The freckles come from the blasted German Lutherans. I suppose I was born to be a pale. One summer I intend to accept that.

I am afraid Calc. has the potential to butcher my winning streak... oh well, I kind of like the class for some unknown reason. The type of thinking used is not static algebra but variables in motion, to picture that is very abstract and interesting. I don't pretend to be good at the process, just mildly entertained.

London

I am going to London in the Spring!

Well, there is about an 85% chance.

Jolly Good!

Weird Dreams

I keep having dreams of infidelity. Maybe I shouldn't post that on my blog. I told Matt and he is not angry that I cheat on him in my dreams. Sometimes its reverse and he cheats on me.

Freud, what's wrong with me?

Love,
-Another Jewish Case Study

Wanderer Above the Sea of Fog

We studied this painting while discussing Kant's concept of the sublime. A sense of majesty understood through reason and thus mastered, how enchanting is that scene? I wish I could trade places with him. After reading Wordsworth I wonder if Missouri can inspire the same sense of ecstasy with nature experienced by the Romantics. I suppose there have been times when I've felt crippled by the beauty of a Kansas City sky, however I feel like what Casper David Friedrich was experiencing in this image, is so much greater, something I've never understood.

All of this makes me wonder if I have been missing something, something essential. How would the fulfillment of this x value flavor the syntax in which I view life, art, and all the other topics that pop into my malleable mind? This painting evokes void in my heart instead of the glorious sublime. Void and jealousy. And although I fear this post sounds pretentious, as so many of my writings do, I have to emit my feelings. Thus, this post.